The Internet is For Porn, TF:A Style
by SweetRhapsody
Summary: What happens when you cross Transformers: Animated with Avenue Q? THIS. I threw in a few OCs, just for fun. Read at your own risk. ;P


The Internet is For Porn: TF:A Style

Casting:

Kate -- Starscar

Trekkie -- Moonblaster

Gary -- Swindle

Princeton -- Ratchet

Rod -- Starsight

Brian --Megatron

Background

Starscar has taken it upon herself to teach Sari Sumdac about the wonders of the internet. While she's monologuing about plans for her lesson, Moonblaster, her little sister, decides to....crash the party.

Helpful things that will make this make sense

Starscar and Ratchet are spark-bonded.

Swindle and Moonblaster are dating.

Starscar is the oldest out of her, Moonblaster and Starsight. Starsight is the middle child, which makes Moonblaster the youngest.

Starscar's nickname is Scate (pronounced "Skate"). How convenient...

* * *

"Finally!" Starscar exclaimed, walking elated into the main room of the Autobot's base. "I get to teach a **whole** lesson, **all by myself**!" She paused thoughtfully, considering what Sari would find interesting. At last, it hit her. "And I'm gonna teach something** relevant**, something **modern**...the Internet!" She gave an excited squeak and positioned herself in front of the couch, imagining for herself an audience, then began her lesson in sing-song. "The Internet is really, really great." She sang flawlessly.

From absolutely nowhere, Starscar's younger sister, Moonblaster popped up and added her two cents. "**For porn**!" She said, her British accent making "porn" sound more like "poan".

Starscar spun around, but--just as soon as the black and bright green femme appeared--she was gone. The orange and black femme shrugged and continued. "I've got a fast connection, so I don't have to wait!"

Once again, Moonblaster popped up, this time, from behind the couch in front of her sister and gave her line. "**For porn**!"

"What?" Starscar asked, confused as the younger femme disappeared again. The orange femme shook her head and continued. "There's always some new site."

"**For porn**!"

The orange femme whirled around to face where the voice came from, but saw no one. "I browse all day and night!"

"**For porn**!"

Once again, the older femme spun to face her sister, who wasn't there. "It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!"

Suddenly, the green femme was right at her sister's side, and yelled at the top of her air tanks, "**FOR PORN**!"

"Moony!" Starscar scolded before the younger burst into her own song.

"The internet is for porn!" She hollered, grinning as her sister glared at her.

"Moony!"

"The internet is for porn!"

"What are you doing?!" Starscar exclaimed.

"Why'd you think the net was born?" Moonblaster shrugged, optic ridges arched. "Porn, porn, porn."

The orange femme sighed and grabbed her little sister by both shoulders. "Moony." She addressed her sister by her nickname in a low voice, clearly not very pleased at all.

"Oh, hello, Starscar!" The bright green femme greeted as if she hadn't known that her older sister was there, one hand raised in a wave as a huge grin spread across her face.

"You are ruining my song." She said sweetly, with under-lying venom.

Moonblaster's optic ridges arched in a way that suggested an apologetic look--her optics themselves were hidden under her visor. "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't **mean** to." She said, actually sounding sincere.

Starscar bit the bait and let go of her sister's shoulders. "Well, if you wouldn't mind, please, being quiet for a minute, so I can finish?" She asked, optic ridges raised hopefully. She was practically praying to Primus that this wouldn't be too difficult a feat for the trouble-making femme.

Moonblaster was quiet for a moment, then nodded her consent. "Okie dokie."

"Good!" Starscar said, expressing her joy at getting the younger femme to shut up without having to beat her. She then escorted the green femme to sit on the couch, so she could be supervised, and continued with her monologue. "I'm glad we have this new technology."

It was then that Moonblaster cut in, abandoning her promise to keep quiet. "**For porn**-oop!" And quickly covered her mouth with her hand.

Starscar sighed; somehow, she knew that the green femme wouldn't be able to resist. "Which gives us untold opportunities!"

"**For porn**-oops, **sorry**!"

"Right from your own desktop,"

"For-**mmph**!" Moonblaster began, then crammed her fist into her mouth.

"You can research, browse and shop." She paused and waited for Moonblaster to deliver her practically patented line. "Hmm?" The smaller femme had disappeared from her spot on the couch. Primus only knew where she could be. Starscar took this as a good sign and continued. "Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!"

Just then, the green femme leap-frogged off her older sister's shoulders, landing perfectly in front of her, to deliver the line that the orange femme knew was coming. "**FOR PORN**!"

"MOONY!"

"The internet is for porn," Moonblaster sang cheerfully.

"Nooo!" Starscar said, trying to discourage her younger sister. At this point, Swindle walked into the room, most likely to see what his femme was getting herself into this time.

"The internet is for porn!" The green femme sang, raising her arms skyward.

Starscar slapped a hand on her forehead. "Moony..."

Moonblaster then proceeded to point in the direction of her "boyfriend", not even looking to confirm that he was there. "He's up all night, hugging his horn to porn, porn, porn."

Swindle felt his face get slightly red, but this was intriguing, so he stepped closer as the two femmes continued as if he wasn't even there.

Starscar's optics widened and the hand on her forehead slid slowly downward. "That's **gross**!" She yelled, not wanting to know about Swindle's late-night horn-hugging. "You're a pervert!" She went on, pointing an accusing finger at her little sister.

Moonblaster moved her head as if she was rolling her optics--which she likely was. "Aw, sticks and stones, Starscar."

"No, really." The older femme insisted. "You're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet." She said matter-of-factly.

There was a moment of silence as Moonblaster raised an optic ridge and grinned. "Ohh?"

Starscar's expression turned blank and innocent. "...What?"

"You have **no**idea!" The green femme then turned towards the rest of the base and spread her arms out. "Ready, normal people?"

"Ready!" Swindle said, making his presence known.

"Ready!" Megatron yelled, as he popped out from around the corner. It was pretty obvious that he was only there to take part in the song.

"Ready!" Starsight--both femme's brother--called as he jumped through the open window.

Ratchet walked in, just then. It was apparent that he didn't feel like "popping", like everyone else.

Moonblaster smiled; it wasn't an easy task, convincing the old medic to join the corruption of his sparkmate's clean plan. "Lemme hear it!" She yelled, turning her back to her army of 'normal people'. "The internet is for porn!" The quintet sung loudly.

"Sorry, Scate." Ratchet shrugged, a slightly mischeivous smile on his face.

"The internet is for porn!" They continued.

"I masturbate."

Moonblaster's face quickly gained a scarred-for-life- expression which disappeared as soon as it had appeared so she could go on with her song. "All these guys unclip their flies for porn, porn, porn!"

"The internet is **not**for porn!" Starscar argued fervently.

"Pooorn, pooorn..." The song continued to its end, but the orange femme didn't let it finish.

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" She screamed as the room full of dancing mechs and one femme became immobile.

"Waugh.." Moonblaster groaned as her shoulders slumped and her bi sister took control once more.

The orange femme put one hand on her hip and used the other to point at her victims. Her brother was first. "Now, I happen to know for a fact that you, Starsight, check your portfolio and trade stocks on-line."

"That's correct." He aggreed, earning a particularly dirty look from Moonblaster.

"And Megatron," Starscar continued confidently. "You buy things, on ."

"Sure." The Decepticon leader shrugged casually.

"And Swindle, you keep selling your possessions on eBay." She said, pointing a black finger at the arms dealer.

He gave a thumbs-up and flashed a stunning smile. "Yes, I do!"

"And Ratchet," She went on, putting both hands behind her back and pawing nervously at the floor. "You sent me that sweet, on-line birthday card."

"True." He nodded slightly.

Moonblaster took this opportunity to interrupt and counter her big sister's arguments. "Oh, but Scate," She began, using Starscar's nickname. "What d'you think he does **after**? Hmm?"

There was silence as Ratchet averted his optics and gave the response Moonblaster was looking for. "...Yeah."

Starscar's face was aghast before she shut her optics tight and covered her face with her hands. "**EEEEWWWWWW**!!"

Once again, the quintet burst into song. "The internet is for porn!"

"Gross!" Starscar exclaimed.

"The internet is for porn!"

"I **hate** porn!"

"Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!" Moonblaster sang, a smug smile on her face at successfully corrupting her sister's lesson plan.

"I hate mechs!" Starscar yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"Pooorrn," Once again, the song came to a close.

"I'm leaving!"

"Pooorrn,"

"I hate the internet!"

"The internet is for, internet is for, internet is for **PORN**!" They finished, then each went back to their respective duties.

"Yeah!" Moonblaster said, chuckling.

* * *

Starscar stomped up to her little sister and nearly grabbed her by the throat. "I am never speaking to you again."


End file.
